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📍What we're talking about this issue: 
Better fundraising letter leads, and lead frames to help you

Photo by Danilo D'Agostino on Unsplash

Dear defender of good,

Great fundraising letter leads are magic to your appeal.

Letter leads can also be... deep, weary, knowing sigh... problematic.  

Because there’s a lot riding on getting those first paragraphs right. And I’ve been there beside you, in those lead-writing weeds. 

So this Loyalty Letter, I’m sharing a guide to better letter leads, with four-plus flexible frames you can use, and real-world examples of each. 

Let’s dig in...   

A Guide to Better Fundraising Letter Leads
(With basic lead frames you can adapt and use)

✍️ By Lisa Sargent
Fundraising copywriter

Loyalty Letter #2, June 2024

If you read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe as a kid like I did, you know the power of a magical doorway to another world.

Great fundraising letter leads are like that.

Leads come first in a fundraising appeal. They’re the openers. The first few paragraphs.

So if you picture your fundraising letter as the path that brings your donor on a journey to give and change the world, then your letter lead is the doorway they must open first.
 

Write an effective, engaging letter lead, and you can:

>> Spark emotion
>> Suspend doubt
>> Invest your donor in the story 
>> Prime action, a problem, and a solution, and
>> Draw your reader deeper

Then with that magic door opened, you can breathe life into the rest of your letter and story, and move your reader through the need, the ask, and other critical parts of an appeal.

So if letter leads have you stuck, keeping some basic frames in your fundraising writing toolbox can be a huge help. 

(Pro tip >> When reviewing client creative briefs and interview transcripts, I try lead frames on for size to see how they might fit my story. Now you can too.)

Here are 4+ letter lead frames to get you 
started, with real-world examples of each:

Frame 1: The In medias res lead

This lead frame pairs well with a story that has a critical or hair-raising moment to it, or a strong sensory component. It lets you capture your donor’s attention quickly and without preamble.

Literally, you plop your reader ‘into the middle of the things’... in medias res. Like this:

I heard the cheering before I got to my office window. Two rows of hospital staff faced each other – arms raised, fingertips touching.

 

And through this happy human arch of hands and brightly colored ‘scrubs,’ a man on crutches walked across the courtyard. These were some of his first steps outside since the stroke...

Here's one more, with that strong sensory component I mentioned:

Thump, whoosh ... thump, whoosh ... thump, whoosh ...

 

The lifesaving rhythm of a hospital ventilator is the last thing you expect to hear on the bright red airplane, as it cruises at 9,000 metres in the sky.

 

And the limp body of a boy—his little chest rising and falling with the breathing machine that keeps him alive—is the last thing you expect to see.

In both cases, you can see how these leads are already beginning to set up the problem/need, and the ask/solution.

Frame 2: The common anchor lead

This lead frame works really well when you have two stories you want to tell in order to give your fundraising appeal clarity and truth. A common anchor lead gives you a touchpoint to hold everything together in the appeal, without losing your reader.

In this example, I held two stories together with time as the common anchor. 

A man who’d been living on the streets and had a terrible leg ulcer was trying to get in to see the nurse (a donor-funded role) by 4pm. Time let me move back and forth between the nurse and the man, telling each story and building drama:

3:45pm.

 

Already Anthony has been walking nearly 90 minutes to cover a distance that would take you or me a third that time. He is desperate.

 

[The appeal then uses time as the anchor throughout, shifting between Anthony and the nurse each time: 3:50, 3:58, 4:00pm...]

You might choose time as a common anchor, like I did. Or an object, a landmark, or even a memory. It can carry you all the way through your appeal.  

Frame 3: The imagine lead

This lead frame works well when you need to create a safe mental space for the reader to experience a difficult story. (Pro tip >> Imagine also works well as a closing, for visionary copy.) 

To open an imagination lead portal, you need to know just two words: Imagine and Picture. 

Like this:

Imagine your lungs burn like fire from the moment you wake.

 

You are only a child.

 

But today you will suffer skin made raw by toxic water, and a ragged cough from logging companies that pollute the air and lay waste to the forests and rivers of your village for easy profits.

Picture can also work, in some cases, in place of Imagine.

You can also try a variation of the Imagine Lead and just cut to the chase with "You." The imagine, here, is implied. 

Like this: [Implied Imagine in brackets]

[Imagine] You will wake in that hazy half-light before dawn.

 

There isn’t enough food. So on this day you save the small pot of porridge for your sleeping family. Today you will walk with an empty belly.

Frame 4: The situation-as-story lead

When the news is breaking, or the situation so dominant, you might want to look to a situation-as-story lead. 

An emergency cold weather alert... natural disaster... a time-sensitive rescue of homeless animals... a humanitarian crisis... a funding shortfall. 

All of these spring to mind when I think of situation-as-story leads – because in this case, it’s often the truest, most dramatic thing you can write about. (Covid was one of those, fyi.)

Here's a simple situation-as-story lead example:

They say emergencies come in sets of three. 

 

But I pray, today, they stop at two.

 

First was the rescue of seventeen abandoned horses...

And one more you can use, even easier:

It’s been just over a week since we got the news. 

 

[For this lead you'll continue with the situation/crisis/news, and how donor can help. These super short leads can work really well for emails.] 

The last lead frame I want to share today is also really helpful when you have a situation-as-story lead but you need a different way to say it.

Frame 4+: The I'm-writing-to-you lead

Sometimes you’ll just want to come out and start with “I’m writing to you today because...” 

As noted, this frame is often linked to situation-as-story appeals because you’re immediately able to describe the situation, and how your supporter can help. 

Another easy example:

I’m taking a chance today by writing to you about a difficult matter. 

 

[Like a situation-as-story lead, here you'll continue with the situation/crisis/news and how the donor can help.]

As a bonus, "I'm writing to you today because" can also help you get started when you're first outlining your appeal. You may or may not use it in the end. But it's a great way to clear out the cobwebs and get writing.

Last thing.  

Remember how back in Frame 3, I mentioned that Imagine Leads also make great visionary closings?  

Well... 

Imagine. 

 

You're at your desk. Ready to write. You’ve got all the background. You've read the transcripts. Your mind is reeling. How to begin?

 

Then it hits you: your story is perfect for an In medias res lead.

 

And just like that, you're opening a magic portal to a successful fundraising appeal...  

Thank you for reading today. Thank you, too, for caring about the craft of better fundraising appeals. I hope these 4+ lead frames do great things for you.

I'll see you in two weeks (June has an extra alternating Saturday, so it's a bonus edition)... and may your words work always for good.

Write with great heart!  

Lisa ✍️

PS. In 2022 my friends at Moceanic asked me to write about letter leads, with some of those elements woven into what you’ve just read today. You'll find both articles here with my forever (zero kickback) praise for all things Moceanic: their courses are well worth a look.

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